ofshiningscales: (A BOX OF SUNSHINE AND PUPPIES)
💄 💋 🎶 ([personal profile] ofshiningscales) wrote2011-06-04 04:46 pm

actually, this is pretty gross. true, but gross.

Today I almost died while driving my car by choking to death on a perfectly round cough drop. Clearly I did not die, so I shall share with you the story of how I lived.

When I was a small child, I loved penguins. Scamper the Penguin, to be precise, but oh how I loved penguins. Whenever my mother would make hard-boiled eggs for sandwiches and salads I would select the nicest egg, take it from its cold water bath once it was hand-touchably warm, and make for it a nest of pillows and blankets. Then I would take care of this egg, because I was a penguin, and I was doing a very good job as a penguin mommy because my egg was warm, and penguin eggs must be warm. Then it got cold and I ate it, because I am also a person. ANYWAY.

I am the best penguin mama.

As you may know, penguins regurgitate food for their young. This is not a skill I possess, because I am not really a penguin. At least, not on their level. Yes, children, I was so into penguins once that I taught myself how to regurgitate just a little. It only works for a minute or so after I eat, and while I am aware this is disgusting, I had had the forethought to chase a liter of water (chugged) with a citrusy cough drop.

AND ONCE AGAIN THE DAY IS SAVED THANKS TO



THE PENGUIN

on one hand, yay! on the other hand, this is actually pretty funny.

[identity profile] ningen-demonai.livejournal.com 2011-06-05 12:19 am (UTC)(link)
... Hubby, you always have the most interesting car-related stories. And by interesting, I mean death-defying.

[identity profile] very-verydanger.livejournal.com 2011-06-05 02:32 am (UTC)(link)
Most of the time I am not actually playing ding-dong-ditch with Death though.

[identity profile] ningen-demonai.livejournal.com 2011-06-05 02:50 am (UTC)(link)
I would very much hope not, hubby.

[identity profile] very-verydanger.livejournal.com 2011-06-05 02:53 am (UTC)(link)
That is a terrible, terrible game to be played there.

Hide and seek is more efficient.

[identity profile] ningen-demonai.livejournal.com 2011-06-05 03:03 am (UTC)(link)
I approve of that. :|b

[personal profile] pussyfortono 2011-06-05 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
. . . oh honey.

[identity profile] very-verydanger.livejournal.com 2011-06-05 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
I'm fine.

[identity profile] impressioniste.livejournal.com 2011-06-05 01:10 am (UTC)(link)
:( Thank goodness you did not choke to death.

YET ANOTHER REASON WHY PENGUINS ARE THE SHIT.

[identity profile] very-verydanger.livejournal.com 2011-06-05 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
Morgan Freeman would approve this message.
rui: (a change of seasons)

[personal profile] rui 2011-06-05 10:49 am (UTC)(link)
posts like these are one of the many reasons i love you.

but yeah that's kinda gross.